How to Rock Travel with Kids

Do you get all excited thinking about a fun vacation with the kids but then quickly filled with dread and worry at the thought of long lines at the airport and hearing a lot of “hope I don’t have that kid sitting near me on the plane”? Well I’m hear to tell you that if a control freak like me can travel with kids using the below tips, then so can you!

It’s Vacation Time!

A family vacation they said. It’ll be fun they said.

It was fun (for the most part) BUT I firmly believe it’s because I had thoroughly thought out everything in advance, bought, and brought everything.

It’s not easy traveling these days with new baggage policies (could they nickel and dime us any more??) and ever growing security lines. But then you to throw a kid or two or three into the mix? That’s madness!

You’ve seen the scene at the airport. A kid running around with frazzled parents chasing after them. Or worse, that kid running around with NO parents in sight. They’ve probably just thrown in the towel and figure that the airport is a safe place. Yeah…right.

So how do you avoid being a-holes at the airport? I’m not going to go into the specific things to pack here. That’s another post. But I will tell you how to develop a game plan for when kids travel with you. Does that make sense? Let me clarify….

A Time Before Children

Before I had a kid, I hated seeing that there were going to be kids on my flight. ‘Oh great, there’s a baby. Knowing my luck, I’ll be sitting right next to them.’ is what I’d say to myself. It’s pretty much what everyone thinks isn’t it?

I wasn’t a jerk about it, giving them dirty looks like some other travelers do. But I didn’t try and help either when I saw a mom struggling to entertain her kids and juggle their luggage. Honestly, I wouldn’t have known how to help back then anyway.

Tip #1. Be Considerate of Fellow Travelers

A Candid Conservation with a Childless Friend (“There should be a short word for them like ‘Muggle’ is for non-magic folk.”)

I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine who doesn’t have kids and probably never will. She said that she wants “kids to be banned from planes” and “if parents don’t like that, then they should find other ways to travel.” Believe it or not, she was talking out of pity for the kids.

Seeing one too many children dart in and out of pedestrian traffic in the airport, bumping into people, and getting run over by wheeled baggage, she got tired of hearing the whining and screaming in the airport and getting her seat kicked by the “brat” sitting behind her. But most of all, she got sick and tired of parents neglecting their children and expecting others to help.

I understand where she, and others who share her opinion, are coming from. It doesn’t just happen at the airport. I’ve seen parents just let their kids go nuts in department stores, in restaurants, and even in other people’s houses. I don’t want this post to be a social commentary so I’m just going to stick to traveling. Also, traveling is a special scenario because it’s a forced situation where you have to interact with strangers. You can just leave a restaurant. You can’t just hop off a plane.

Don’t Forget What It Was Like to Travel Before You Had Kids

When I had my own kid, I vowed to myself that I would do my best to not disturb other travelers because they had just as much of a right to be there as I did. We have to get along for a short duration so why not just try and make it as peaceful as possible?

It’s hard to be mindful of others on top of being…well, on top of everything else when traveling with kids!

I know, I’ve been there.

But you’re probably wondering why you should be mindful when nobody else seems to be. And I don’t blame you. In fact, when I talked with my husband about this post, he said exactly that. But I believe in setting the best example for my kid that I can. No, that doesn’t mean being a pushover. However, this is a civilized society (mostly) and to keep it that way we need to treat each other with some consideration.

A Shift in Reality

What helped me was to shift my thinking about traveling. I used to get my latte and a thick fashion magazine and find a seat somewhere quiet in the airport as I lazily killed time before my flight. I had a light carryon if any at all and I’d wait until the last moment to board the plane because I didn’t want to be confined any longer than I needed to be.

But now I get a water after going through security because I don’t want to accidentally spill scalding hot coffee on my child and they’ll probably be thirsty for water anyway. I don’t bother with a magazine because I know I probably won’t have time to read it between entertaining my kid or chasing them around. I still look for a quiet spot in the airport so that I can let him run around while disturbing as few people as possible. My carryon is a diaper bag plus his car seat and a stroller. It’s totally manageable. So don’t expect to have other people’s help. That would just be icing on the cake. People just want to see that you’ve got you’re act together and are trying. And if that isn’t good enough, well to heck with them!

Getting your act together means having an idea of the lay of the land….

Tip #2. Call Ahead

Call the airline you intend on flying with and see if they have any special services for a parent flying alone with their child(ren). Some airlines do and at no extra cost.

Speaking of calling ahead, check to see if there’s a bassinet on the plane. They’re tiny but quite handy if you’ve got an infant.

Tip #3. Check In Early

This isn’t like when you were flying by yourself. You may be able to get away with showing up all last minute if your child is under two years old and you intend on them being in your lap. But if they need to have a seat of their own, then you’ll want to check in early to make sure that you have two seats together without bumping someone else out of their seat.

The airline will make sure that the parent and child stay together. But did you know that the child’s seat has to be at a window because their car seat cannot block an exit to the aisle? So in order for the airline to get you two together, they might have to move someone out of their window seat, which they probably paid extra for, for another window seat that’s probably toward the back of the plane. That’s not exactly going to make you a popular person. I know, who cares right? Well, why even put those negative vibes out there if you don’t have to by planning ahead a little?

Tip #4. Figure Out What You Want to Do about Car Seats

If you’re going to bring a car seat on the plane, figure out how your car seat works. It is a pain to try and figure that out once you get on the plane. Read the manual. Look up videos on Youtube. I bought a really affordable car seat just for taking on trips because his regular car seat was bulky, heavy, and incredibly expensive – much too expensive to risk it getting banged around during transit if we ended up having to check it as baggage. There’s the added benefit that when we’re not traveling, the second car seat is in my husband’s car which means we don’t always have to take my car and we don’t have to move the bulky car seat.

Tip #5. Consolidate Bags

Don’t even bother with having your own bag in addition to your child’s bag. Pack everything you need for yourself and your kid(s) in a large diaper bag or carryall, depending on how old your kid(s) are. Of course, if they’re old enough to carry their own bags, that’s great! And by “carry their own,” I mean they can take it on and off, open it and close, without your help. The idea is always to free up your hands as much as possible. You never know when you’ll have to clean a dirty diaper, wipe a boogey, feed little mouths, or any of the million things parents do.

Tip #6. Keep Calm and as You Carry On

Don’t forget to take deep breaths and try not to lose your cool. (I’m convinced children can smell fear!) It’s hard to do when your kid is begging to run around while you’re holding your crying and hungry infant. Oh, and look, it’s your turn to show your ticket to board. But you losing it usually doesn’t make anything better. I really think that just as kids can sense fear, they can tell when you’re upset. You staying calm will help them stay calm…or at least calmer.

Tip #7. Garner Sympathy/Pity

Pity is Better Than Loathing

Don’t be above garnering sympathy/pity! You’re much more likely to get sympathy and looks of pity from strangers if it’s obvious that you’re trying. Often times, people will bend over backwards trying to help the parent who is struggling. And if they don’t, they’re the ones who look like jerks! But if you’re the one who lets your kids run wild and gets in the way of other people, be ready to get some nasty looks. Wouldn’t it be better for your kids to be admired for good manners and you be the awesome parent for letting kids travel instead of you and the kids be pariahs?

Maybe I’m giving this too much thought. And it probably seems like I really care what other people think. But honestly, I don’t. What I do care about is making my son happy. And me not being prepared when we travel, or him getting dirty looks, or me getting in a confrontation with a stranger at the airport is definitely not going to make him happy.

I have kept these tips in mind whenever I travel with my kid. Even though it was particularly hard to keep calm and composed during a surprise 10 hour stop over due to a freak snow storm! I know the idea of traveling with your kids can be daunting, but things will go much more smoothly if you remember to be considerate of others (so it’s reasonable for you to demand consideration from them), plan ahead, and TAKE DEEP BREATHS!

Have you had any particularly good or bad experiences traveling with the kiddos? Share in the comments! Happy travels!